Wednesday, April 04, 2007
been some time since i really came here and do some serious thinking... have stopped working at bg alr... reasons... better not ask... lol... yea...
got a fren whose dad just passed away 3 days back... been to his dad's funeral for the past 2 days... staring at a person's funeral just makes me think yet again, how fragile a life could be... just a split second, eyes closed, heart's stop pumping, gone just like that.. no warning, no nothing.. but even this couldnt convince me to be more confident abt life.. i mean, u think thru everything, and starts to think, why shld i be without confidence? even when my life could be gone the nxt moment.. i shld just muster all courage that i could and do the things that i really wanna do.. but still, its still not enough to convince me to do things that i really wanna do yet dare not do..
but whatever it is, at least im not like im before.. at least now im leading a life that is boring yet happy enuff.. or shld i say without troubles.. gone are the days of troubles.. gone are the grp of ppl i wanted to stay away from.. every decision i made, its bound to make ppl unhappy.. so why bother like i do in the past? where i think so much for each and everyone and try to make my decision in a way that i'd get the least number of ppl unhappy.. i've come to understand, im living for myself. not for others.. my life, my decision.. no one's gonna affect my decision even if it means everyone misunderstanding me..
wad my mum told me is very true.. being a gd person often lands u in trouble.. no pt being gd to someone and only to realise that person isnt even appreciating.. look at the trouble she's in now.. trying to be the gd person... even i look at her situation and i'd just scold her for being dumb.. but i wont deny even i myself, was once in her shoe and was laughed at for being dumb..
but things are over now.. perhaps the impt thing now for me is to find back my confidence and to look forward to National Service.. becos thats the nxt 'big' event thats gonna happen in my life. and for most of the guys as well..
I failed. 4:53 PM
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